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1-26-2007
So, I thought I would make a few improvements here, and in the process I discovered the Hideous Black Mold growing inside of my bedroom walls. The previous owner apparently had a water leak and thus the mold. I tore the walls out and started putting new walls up. Then a relative of mine offered to give me a used washer and dryer. I really need these appliances so I started making the utility room ready for them. Inside the walls, I found more black mold! It is looking as if the previous owners were careless with water anyplace that water was used. I am now rebuilding the utility room.
Oh well, when I am done it will be better than new. Good thing that the materials are cheap and I don't have to pay for labor since I am doing it myself but it is a lot of work.
Winter did not start here until about January 15; usually it gets cold in November and stays that way until March. Now it's cold and I can't wait for Spring.
I have plans...
Here are some recent writings for you:
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Weaving in Colors
When last I saw her, she was fading out in colors
And now, after many curiously tapered thoughts
I am again blessed by the reality, not the haunting
Two dimensional aspect of her memory-ghost
She comes from the enticing Realm of Not
And she glitters in my sight as she weaves
The tapestry that I feel is oh so intriguing
It is drawing me in, as it always does…
The memories shout as they come alive
Now I remember that I have always been
Be/ been/ will be here at the center always
I am the being at the center of the pattern
A ? number of times I remember/ create Now
This is reality, not the eye-blink I've just left
When last I saw him, he was stationary in layers
And now, the thought-road is stacked with paths
I am again haunted by the blessed fantasy
The nine dimensional spirit that animates her
I dwell in the all-existing Realm of Can-be
And I cause the Shadows to live and dance
The gradients of realities; shades of colors
That make up an all-too-real work of art
I am drawn outward, as I always am, I remember
As I fall towards another precious life-dream-chapter
It's weird, but I'm glad that she is nearly always
][With me][
9~25~2006
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Relativity
Right now I am wondering
How many of my precious sibling foci
Have found in their wandering
The path that leads to their loci
I know of a self that looks
In numerous unlikely places
He reads many old books
He's haunted by shadowy faces
In dreams, he knows about all
And tries to awaken Knowing
The truths but can't quite recall
The purpose behind his Growing
And there is another one, flowing
Into the layers of our self, reading
Words of being written and showing
A new interesting truth she is needing
I saluted her in passing one night
And she told me her name
Her action was meant to be polite
But I fell to earth, to my shame
All the same, we are fellow parts
Of an unexpressably large being
Whose dreamlands are not on charts
And, good thing, will never all be seen
Because we all need room to grow
Don't you know?
Pleasant dreams, 9-20-2006
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New Dreams
A new place to call my home now
Chosen from amongst the probabilities
It emerges uncertainly from the haze
I'll call it 'The House on the Corner'
I've replaced the previous residents
They were not exactly beloved
But where do I fit in
And what are the possibilities here?
Make yourselves known to me, neighbors
Where do you stand, what do you believe?
What will you make of me, hmmm?
Where are the ones that I seek?
My ancient self wishes to expand
Dead ends surround me
But I weave between them
And the path to fulfillment is clear
I wonder what I will choose to manifest?
The realm of choices is wide open now.
A bright New Star in the West
Catches my eye tonight
It's probably just a tower beacon
But I've never seen one so bright
Why tonight, and of course, it's my decision
What would I like for it to represent?
I dreamed that old friends came to visit
The most intriquing family from the past
Stood on my doorstep, smiling for me
And they greeted me warmly, so welcome
What do I want it to mean?!?
Will the desired-future-me
And the beloved past-self I yearn for
Merge now in the singularity of the Present?
The moment-point, the point of power
The ever-so-spacious present
Always becoming, and never arriving
New probabilities intersect and, you know
Reveal new fascinating roads to travel
Beginning at the intersection where I live
Now known as 'The House on the Corner'
9-16-2006
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And here is a dream that I had. It was very real to me.
A Walk to the Future
I looked before I leaped. The other side looked like a plowed field
where nothing grew. It was about a 12 inch drop. I stepped over
the edge into the field. I saw deer in the distance off to the
right so I walked that way. They were in another small field that
joined the field I was in. Closer, I saw that they were not deer.
They were the size of large horses and had faces that made me think
of camels.
They seemed to be well-domesticated or even semi-intelligent. I saw
them enter a farmhouse that was nearby. I followed. I was waiting
for my companion, ?, to come through after me. I looked back and
saw him. I wanted to show him this great place and the animals so I
waved to him.
We were talking with the woman who lived in the house. We wondered
if our money would be any good in this place but decided that the
gold, at least, would work.
I am in a barn. I see a small cat sitting next to a drain cover,
watching. An object appears on the cover and starts to grow. It
takes the form of a rat and the cat meows. Hearing the meow, a dog
trots over and grabs the rat with its teeth and walks away with it.
From somewhere, maybe someone is with me, I hear that the rats must
be destroyed because they just keep growing when they get into the
world. So the cat alerts the dog, who is large enough to deal with
the rats. I wonder what happens when the cat and dog need to sleep?
I go for a walk. Suddenly, I see a lot of traffic on the country
road, all headed for the farmhouse. I guess that the woman has told
her friends that we are there and where we are from. Somehow, know
that her friends are learned people and scientists so I am not
worried. I walk back towards the house along the road and I see a
number of objects in the ditch, as if they had fallen off a truck.
Sure enough, a truck pulls up alongside me and the driver leans over
and tells me that he is trying to find his [item] that has fallen
off. He has light colored hair, glasses, and seems to be in his
late 20's. When I see him, I know that he is me, a version of me,
also travelling as I am. I don't want to get caught up in his
problems since I am on a mission. I say "Sorry, I can't help you"
and I move on.
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All of the above took place in a country setting. Now I am visiting
the city. My guide is a young man, maybe even teenaged, and I feel
as if I am near his age also. The city is in a valley and we are
travelling along a ridge above it. The guide points out a few
buildings of interest. A number of them are tall but not taller
than 30 stories or so. For all I know, this is a small town. He
talks about one that I see. The top of it is rectangular and
extends out over the lower part of the building. On the right side
of it, antennae and devices point out horizontally. The guide says
that this installation is used to make contact with other worlds.
He suggests the word "Intersplit" but I recall that as the name of a
warp-drive in a book that I read. He says 'contact' and I think of
Seti but I know that he means contacting other worlds through
dimensions and not through space. I look at another building and am
struck by its architecture. In my world, such tall buildings are
glass and steel. Here is a tall building; it is white material with
red decorations and relatively few windows. I feel that its
appearance is simple and attractive.
The road curves to the right and downhill into the city. I remember
seeing glimpses of buildings through gaps between buildings.
We are in a residence in the city, his home I think. He wants to
show me the bedrooms. We walk through a girl's bedroom to get to
what I know is a boy's bedroom. We find that the door to the boy's
bedroom is locked and I hear music coming through the door. We turn
away and walk back. In the girl's bedroom I see a collection of
figurines on a dresser. There are colored in a way that I would
call Egyptian. As a joke or a prank, I think, the guide picks up a
figurine and drops it lightly on a group of the others. There is
motion, mechanical sounds like a mechanized insect. All of the
figurines are moving and the one that was dropped on the others is
bowing and apologizing and reciting prayers. We leave the room and
go upstairs On the ground floor, I see a screen that resembles a
television screen. There is a man on the screen. He has a stern
look on his face and he is exhorting somebody, maybe the viewers.
His tone reminds me of a Marine Sergeant yelling "Alright, you
maggots! Drop and give me fifty!" I say, "Wow, that guy looks just
like my gym teacher". I wonder about this because I never had an
instructor who looked like him but in the dream I was sure of the
resemblance. We leave the residence and go outside.
We walked along a sidewalk. Somewhere, I had acquired a beverage,
which I carried in my right hand. It was a green can, somewhat
taller than the usual 12 ounce can and I believe that it
said "Vernor's" on it near the top. I felt that my guide was
ignorant of the source of this beverage so I told him about it. I
said that it was invented by Frank Vernor in 1865 and here I
wondered if they kept track of years using the same method. I told
him more about it but forget the details now.
We arrive at a strange place. It's sort of like a terminal for
vehicles. We each get into one of these vehicles and start off down
a smooth track (no rails). The vehicles are human powered. The
drivers are supposed to use their hands to turn a device that
propels the vehicle; I think of a wheel chair enclosed in a bullet-
shaped body. Right now we are just sight-seeing because I am still
holding the drink and cannot use both hands but I feel that these
cars are used for some serious racing. The track curves up on the
sides to keep the cars from falling. As we move along, the track
widens and the sides curve up until the track is fully enclosed in a
tunnel. It is well lit and colorful; I remember reds and yellows,
maybe plastic. I know that the course contains elements of a
rollercoaster, waterpark, and luge.
We decide that we should enter a race. We are in a large room with
many people and I think we are selecting our vehicles. We leave the
room and wait at the beginning point of the course. A few minutes
later, our vehicles arrive. My friend the guide has a red car. I
get a yellow two-seater and a girl for a partner. Maybe I need a
partner because I have never done this before? The car is #41 and
so are our outfits. As we start off, I try to adjust the headgear
so that it covers the back of my neck. I'm annoyed because my
helmet is not fastened.
I switch to a knowledge of the course we are going to race on. I
feel as if someone is putting images in my mind though it could have
been a visual display in the car. I see the course winding along
and then descending into a area called 'The Knot' where it goes
through many tight turns in a small area and I know that this will
involve very high speeds. Somehow, I feel as if these cars are only
hand powered at the initial stage. From there it goes for a long
straightaway and then into another tight spot called 'The Square'.
And then, wouldn't you know, I woke up.
Interesting notes:
In each of the places where I described a direction as being to
the 'right', I originally called 'left' and had to change it when
reread this.
I feel as if I was dreaming someone elses dream, maybe another
self. I didn't have any information about the Vernor's can but the
dreaming self believed that he knew these things. I did recognize
that one guy's face on the screen but not as any instructor that I
ever had. I wonder who he is? So, I felt like I was observing
another version of self explore a world that was not his either.
8-21-2006
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