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1-06-2006
Lately I decided to take God on. But to be sure, I'm actually declaring that I am responsible for my life, and God is not. So much we put on God. Things that are up to us really.
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2-10-2006
I have been feeling the presence of my past self. Way back in 1979, I first started reading the Seth material. At that time I was 20 years old. I had many questions and and lots of energy but few answers. I used to project myself towards the person that I thought I might be in the future, especially in the years after 2000. I thought that that person would surely have the answers that I needed.
In July of 2003, I started feeling the presence of that younger self. I had been feeling old and useless. My life seemed to hold no further surprises and I thought that I was almost done with it. I had no energy for anything and I spent much time lying in bed with my eyes closed, in a light trance state I guess, but not asleep.
I imagined that I was in contact with my younger self and I thought that he was demanding answers. This was interesting, sort of.
In short, I opened up a path for him to access any wisdom that I might have and in return I felt energized by the exchange. I suddenly remembered that I had a source of knowledge that I had nearly forgotten. I purchased a copy of Jane Roberts' "The Nature of Personal Reality" and re-read it. Over the next six months I bought copies of most of her books and read them, some of which I had read before. In February, 2004, I searched the internet for Seth-related items and found Sethnet.
With that discovery, my world opened up. Unlike my previous experience with the Seth material, I now had others to communicate with. This made all the difference. After a year in the group, for some reason, they decided that I should be a moderator in the group; I consider it to be an honor and I give it my best.
I feel the younger 'me' around me quite a bit now. I call him "The Wizard" because he was always looking for a way to magically create his own world. I tune in to him at times and write some things. I will include a few of them here now ---->
"Dancing Into the Future"
Past, present, future, and other, compressed into a singularity of
Now; shall we organize these moments according to a different type
of significance? Why not?
Looking over my shoulder, I wonder at the date on the calendar.
It's 2006; shouldn't there be a jetcar in my driveway?
Snow flies across my field of view. I am reminded of a place where
I had to crawl deep to avoid the radiation carried by the dull gray
snowflakes even while I was wishing for a White Christmas. Another
time, I stand outside in the blizzard as the white wind sucks the
air from my lungs and I feel a wild dangerous exhilaration – the
spirits of air and water lend energy to me and I remember that those
whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first make reckless so I return
to the shelter and sit behind the fire at the entrance.
My proud insistent original pattern self demands that I show some
evidence of progress made in 25 long years. I delay him by
suggesting that he browse through the data accumulated in that time
period and I wonder. I tell him that it takes time, cursed time, to
develop the blessed tools; tools that are actually hard won parts of
self.
"Listen to me, you that I know so well. Your presence here and now
reminds me of much that I should not have forgotten. How did I
forget the urgency of young blood searching with blazing eye,
shouting out to the unformed and not-yet-chosen future, trying to
form the best pattern from the few elements visible to that bright
but untrained eye?
"I am you are me aching to become. Don't give up the energy in your
frustration. With your energy and my imagination we can change our
shared past to create new roads leading through the dawn mist to the
fantastic worlds that we dream of together. We'll meet with other
unknown selves in the limitless starlit realms of Self! Laugh with
me now and feel the power that very few remember. Know that you are
not alone; you stand with uncountable other versions of self, along
with your friends and family and lovers too. Experience this… how
could you ever think the world cold and without choice?"
I say this because the words come through me to give to that earlier
self but I wonder if I my present self can find the energy and
determination to avoid being a hypocrite and from a field unseen but
only sensed I hear a voice say "That's right, well loved hypocrite.
Do you think that you only advise? I've been where you are and I've
got a few suggestions that will initiate an exciting process in your
very being. You ain't dead yet. Get ready to make a list…"
Our Best wishes,
2-5-2006
"Riding the Wave"
Glorious tones greet me tonight
Life-affirming echoes from the past
A communication from an energetic self
Notes that lift me up on a wave of feeling
The Wizard is coming through very well
He thinks he's calling for my help
But the carrier wave has the raw power
That I had forgotten about in my senility
At one time I dreamed of cities of light
And hoped to find myself there
I pictured myself riding on the waves of thought
I looked for the wisdom that would help
Now I've got the wisdom in my mind
But I lost the energy along the way
Don't tell the questing youth about it
Maybe I can point him in a different way
Elemental forces to call upon at will
Take a turn just over here, my son
Study the runes and ignore all else
And don't give in, don't settle for less
Direct your gaze towards the sky
See your own eye looking back at you
Set your course for the final frontier
There's an innerverse awaiting your arrival
I'll sit here and dream of your successes
Maybe I'll even write about your adventures
But one day I'll settle my affairs here in this body
And I'll follow you through that inviting door
1-08-2006
"It's Been a While"
It's coming in clearly now, your transmission
I had only to listen to the right channel
Twenty five years ago, in another world
A young man sent his thoughts to the future
Hoping that he would find great wisdom
He waited for results but didn't recognize them
And he plodded on in the usual manner
At times he wondered about himself
Where did he get these characteristics
Wise beyond his years, he felt alone
He didn't know that his call had been received
His wisdom came from his smiling future self
Years passed; many events but no progress
The gift colored his every day and night
But he thought that it had always been his
So he gave in and lived as best he could
Not knowing that he stood out like a daystar
Pursuing holy crusades took some time
It took more time to recover from them
With another, he brought in a new dream child
And spent more years in the raising of same
Time passed in the way that time passes
Extreme dissatisfaction caused an impaction
Where, in those days, was his gratification?
Long lost seeds demanded their time of growth
But it was always the last cold days of winter
Where were the warm days filled with promise?
Timeheld strands weave together at last
Crisis is reached and in the fog in his mind
He receives the urgent call from the past
The fly on the wall hears the sound of laughter
And wonders at the energy released
Oh, the joke, surely it's the best I've heard
I thought I was contacting the future me
But it all is so very funny, don't you see
I sent more than just a few desperate thoughts
Dying persona... reborn with seeds... from the past!
Putting it all together is a bit of a chore
Did it really happen that way at all?
But there's no doubt about who you see now
It's the Wizard Who Didn't Know His Power
He traveled into the future and walks with you all
We'll see what he can come up with here
If he can just toss off the old habits that remain
That'll take some work and energy
The old man died happily but left his wisdom
And the young Wizard looks about him, with bright eyes
Saluta ben melota bie griez, mor tallure vradez.....
11-14-2005 At last!
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